Psychological Guide To Raising Strong Children

Written By Matthew Leone

Provided by Charity Bomb

To raise strong children, we must become strong parents. The first, and arguably the most impactful node of our children’s education, character and personality development is the behavior we model for them. HERE is a good article on that.

Accordingly, we must raise our own standards with the basics (health, diet, exercise), and more surreptitiously, how we treat ourselves and each other. The best thing for them is to see us parents demonstrating love, respect, and affection towards each other and others.

If these foundational elements are strong, spend some time learning the psychology of life, so you can teach them these timeless principals:

1. Teach Them Mental Models: Mental models are essential thinking tools that help solve problems and make decisions.

Mental models are tools for your mind…

• Inversion: Great explanation HERE

• Incentives: Psychological incentives to explain motivation, more HERE

• First Principles: Great article to help you understand First Principles HERE

• Feynman Technique: Understanding vs. memorizing. More HERE

…the more tools you have, the more problems you solve.

Great reads on the topic:

For an in-depth look, consider reading -“Seeking Wisdom,” Farnam Street, and “Poor Charlies Almanac”

2. Teach emotional intelligence: The ability to identify and manage one’s own feelings as well as those of others.

• Love: Love is God (in any form or religious doctrine)

• Sympathy: Sympathy is understanding that the other perspective is difficult and can perhaps explain unusual or difficult behavior.

• Empathy: Empathy helps you think from the other perspective, often from personal experience, giving you a better understanding of life.

• Compassion: Compassion is a genuine feeling or care for another’s perspective.

• Inter/Intrapersonal Awareness: Inter and intra-personal awareness is knowing the feelings of others and your own emotions.

3. How to Make a Decision

Factor in:

• Incentives

• Pros and cons

• Goals and values

• Game theory - 40% knowledge is enough for action

4. Teach Them How to Write: Writing will clarify your thinking and give you creative ideas.

To be a good writer, read and write a LOT.

“The pen is mightier than the sword.”

5. How to Argue

All you need is…

• Basic logic

• Know your beliefs and research

• No emotions (clouds judgement)

• Open mind to see other perspectives

6. Teach Basic Financial Literacy

• Leverage

• Incentives

• Trade-offs

• Supply and demand

Instill a message of prosperity, not scarcity.

If you create a good relationship between your child and money, they will be set for life.

7. Teach the Philosophical Razors

Razor’s help you shave off unnecessary problems.

Here are a few good ones, read deeper HERE:

  • Occam’s razor: Entities should not be multiplied without necessity

  • Sagan standard: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence

  • Hitchens razor: What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence

  • Hume’s razor: Causes must be sufficiently able to produce the effect assigned to them

  • Duck test: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck

  • Popper’s falsifiability principle: For a theory to be considered scientific, it must be possible to disprove or refute it

  • Newton’s flaming laser sword: If something cannot be settled by experiment, it is not worth debating

  • Grice’s razor: Address what the speaker actually meant, instead of addressing the literal meaning of what they actually said

  • Hanlon’s razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained

    by incompetence or stupidity

8. Teach Philosophical Values

Teach:

• Logic

• Ethics

• History

Strong values will lead to purpose and emotional intelligence

AND… it’s okay to stand against the crowd if you’re doing the right thing.

9. Teach Cognitive Biases: Biases cloud your judgement and slow down thinking.

Learn:

• Anchoring

• Self-serving

• Availability

• Halo effect

• Confirmation

Further reading: “Poor Charlie’s Almanac”

10. How to find good information

You live in an age of abundant information.

It’s important to know how to find good, relevant information:

• Primary source?

• Where is the information from?

• Is it written with emotion or bias?

11. Spark Curiosity

• Why?

• What do you think?

• What is your prediction?

Active learning creates curiosity, which helps with adaptability and problem solving!

Go raise some strong children!

Matthew Leone
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